I'm sorry, but I've HAD it with this buying frenzy I see all around me. Is THIS what Chanukah will become? God, I hope NOT. Already, in cities like NYC it's starting to happen. I saw the very beginnings of it back in the late 70's, when I still lived there. You know, those huge plastic menorahs next to the Christmas trees in the store windows? So far, we haven't caught up to our frenetic and frazzled Christian neighbors, but not from lack of trying. Retailers are moaning that they haven't had a "record season" this year, and that it means THE END. Nonsense. Still, I'm sooo glad I'm not a Christian, or married to one. Pity the poor Jews, Muslims, Buddhists who ARE married to Christian spouses, and who must slog along as their loved ones dash madly from store to store, buying all kinds of stupid gifts nobody really wants but everybody must have. Why? Because it's EXPECTED, they'll say. Heaven forfend someone might not get SOME idiotic "stocking-stuffer", or the world will come to an end! Sure, right, and I think I'll just hide somewhere till all this idiocy is over.
The sweet story of "no room at the inn" has been bastardized into a gift-giving extravaganza that passes all commonsense. Okay, so HE was poor, yet why do people with loads of stuff they'll never use and won't need stuff themselves with MORE junk? Why not give to the POOR instead? After all, are your kids REALLY going to appreciate all those things you squandered your precious time and money getting? Yeah, for maybe the first five minutes. After that, they'll get bored, and about ten minutes after THAT it'll get broken, or they won't like it and you'll have to return it on the 26th. Was it Wilder who said "Nothing succeeds like excess"? Well, folks, it DOESN'T, not when a wonderful holiday is turned into a "gimmee" slash-&-rip exhibition. All you're teaching your kids is how to be greedy, and that they're ENTITLED to whatever they covet---no matter HOW outrageous or expensive. Is THAT the meaning of your religion? And do you actually ENJOY the holiday? Fat chance, after all that running around! I go to the mall just to watch you scramble insanely through store after store, and I thank God I'm a Jew, because Chanukah is NOT our major holiday and the rabbis always discouraged excess. I feel sorry for you, too---yanking behind you a screaming toddler who needs a nap while, wild-eyed, you stumble blindly on, oblivious to the purse you just left behind on that bench. I've seen women sobbing hysterically, still yanking the same screaming toddler along, when they suddenly realize they've lost all their money and credit cards, and can't remember where. This isn't necessary. And yet it goes on, year after year. One thing we Jews have learned is that NO holiday is, has, or ever WILL be "perfect". Then again, we have enough of them that, should one turn out rotten, there's always hope for the next, and we don't have to wait a whole YEAR for another one, either.
You know, there ARE more holidays in the Christian religion, and not just Easter. Take a look at an old English calendar, for instance, or ANY old European calendar, for that matter. It's NOT the end if Christmas goes awry, believe me. You've just been brainwashed, that's all. Stop, take a deep breath, and exhale slowly. Now repeat after me: "NObody's perfect, and I have a RIGHT to relax, dammit!" Feel better? Good, now go and enjoy yourself, sloooowly. And don't forget to thank God for all you have, too. Be well.
