It's Me Again...

Fran1, originally uploaded by Reva49.

Me,at 56. Yes (sigh), I'm showing my age. What a bummer. I never smoked, never drank much at all (having just enough American Indian in me to fall asleep after one SIP), and STILL I end up looking like a well-scrubbed bag-lady. Well, I never WAS much to look at, so at least I haven't LOST anything there. No, I don't color my hair---yet. There's more gray every week, it seems, but nothing major so far. Haven't developed arthritis, or diabetes (athough I'm so absent-minded I have to wonder about Alzheimer's, which a neighbor of mine once mispronounced as "old-timer's"), and my blood pressure's still good, even though my cholesterol tends to act up now and then. If ever industry needs a major manufacturer of cholesterol, I'd be happy to oblige, as I have more than I need and can spare a TON. That goes for FAT as well. Need a "spare tire", anyone? Used to be that the fat people were rich and the poor were skinny, but times change, I guess. I'll NEVER be fashionable, it seems. Now if only some famous celebrity would say "You can never be too ZOFTIG." Where is Kate Smith, now that I really need her? Or Gertrude Berg? Or Sophie Tucker? What happened to those wonderful commercials for "full-figured" women? And why the hell does AARP Magazine put anorexic actresses on their cover? An aging boomer "Barbie Doll" I'm not! Besides, I couldn't AFFORD to replace my wardrobe (athough I probably COULD have TWO outfits made from every one I have now). Then again, who wants two of the same outfit? C'mon, you "giant economy size" boomers, stop feeling like such failures! It took a helluva lotta WORK to get our bodies so sleek and virtually wrinkle-free. The SKINNIES are gonna wrinkle first, nyah, nyah. We might keel over from cardio-vascular disease, BUT---we'll be damn good-looking CORPSES, I tell ya. So let's hear it for ZOFTIGEIT!