We all do, I swear. I mean, what's the use of having all these commentaries when what we need aren't comments but solutions. Think about it----we use cheats playing computer games, so why not use them in real life, where we need the most help?I know I need them, desperately. It's just our luck that life doesn't come with a user's manual, but the least God could have done was to provide one for the Bible. After all, it's been at least five thousand years and what with all the translations, differences of opinion (not only between Christians, Muslims and Jews, but within each group as well), I feel it's high time God provided some clarification.
Face it, does anyone really know what half the unkosher animals listed in Deuteronomy are? My Soncino one-volume edition of the Pentateuch suggests (suggests, mind you) that the so-called "rock badger" might be something like our modern Hylax, and the "coney" might not be related to our Rabbit at all (apologies to the Easter Bunny and all that). So, what do we have? An "immutable" document? Not likely, for all the protestations of Fundamentalist Christians and Orthodox Jews combined. Of course, we Jews are luckier in that we have Rashi, Rambam, Ramban, Ramalamadingdong, etc. Yet, even with Mishnah and Gemara (Talmud) we have a "user's manual" that seems to have been written more like a crossword puzzle (the NY Times one, naturally, which is the hardest) than a "how to" explanation of what God wants from us!
Is it so much to ask for a little elucidation here? Seems hardly fair to send anyone to gehinnom (hell, except that we believe it only lasts twelve months---and everyone's included) when the rules are so vague. We don't need much, actually, just a few jots and tittles explained.
The idea hit me as I was thrashing about, totally frustrated, playing Myst the other night, and I recalled the many websites offering cheats for it. Of course! Isn't life something like a game? And if religion is sooo important to God that He gave us The Rules, then doesn't He have a responsibility to provide updates? It's been, as I mentioned previously, something like five thousand years, and we haven't had any prophets since Malachi (sorry, Mohamed and Jesus, but this is a Jewish blog, after all). And where is Elijah when we really need him?
Let's all demand this Seder night, when we open the door for our ever-tardy Tishbite, that he take this need for clarification up to God Himself. That's assuming, mind you, that Elijah makes it to our seders. It has come to my attention that lately he's been drinking a bit too much of that wine cup at every seder table---and getting lost on his way back...
