You know the song..."ilu, ilu hotzianu, hotzianu mi-mizrayim, hotzianu mi-mizrayim, Dayenu", etc. If God had only taken us out of Egypt, but hadn't [insert blessing here], it would have been enough. Well, it wasn't.He's made a LOT of promises He hasn't kept yet. Sure, maybe Elijah's on his way, but he sure hasn't shown up at MY house---not even shikker (drunk, or is the proper Yiddish term "ge-shickt"?) Anyway, I think we ought to stop saying Dayenu and remind Him of why we drink those four (or five, depending on your tradition) cups of wine; namely, that He owes us those blessings we're thanking Him in advance for. Remember, we're really not supposed to have Isreal until Maschiach comes---except he seems to run on Jewish time and we couldn't wait, what with all the exterminations and where to put those Sho'a survivers.
Not that I'm looking forward to Ketz (the end of times)---especially as Christians and Muslims want into the act, God help us---but after two thousand years of Yushka, it might be nice to see the real thing. Of course, with our luck it might be Yushka, yet I'm sure he'll run for the nearest shul when he sees all those other "chosen people" coming toward him! Poor guy, he couldn't even get himself killed, he had to order Judas to betray him. Still, what a show! And none of it's true, naturally. Caiphas might have been Cohen Godol, but he still couldn't hold a trial at night, in his house, nor could he sentence anyone to death. The Romans appointed him as their toady, so who knows if he even had priestly yichus? And Pontius Pilate (obviously the ancestor of the same method), hah! What a make-over he got!
Frankly, if I'd been there, I'd have yelled for Bar-Abbas as well. What kind of Jews have a seder where the leader calls the matzoh his body, and the wine his blood? Nope, history it's not. I can't wait to read this new "gospel of Judas". Finally, we'll hear both sides. Such a coincidence---or is it the Finger of God (guess which one)?
At any rate, while I'm waiting for God to answer (probably by smiting me with lightning for my audacity), I think I'll have some compote. One thing about all that matzoh, it sure stops you up! Moses got it right when he called it the "bread of affliction". It's starting to "afflict" me already. Look what we do for You, God! And do we get any thanks? At least give us a call once and a while. You might have all the time in the world but, y'know, You should've known better (being Omniscient and all that) than to put those trees in Gan Eden, then tell poor Adam not to eat them. If I didn't know better, I'd say it was a set-up...
